The Anti-Gannet

Attention - all members! It has recently come to light that a new menace threatens divers beneath the waves. The danger is sudden and travels at over 100 mph, striking from the sky above to impale hapless aquanauts as they take their leisure in the depths.

The alarm was first raised after a club member was seen tearing a silver reflective strip from the top of her drysuit hood. When questioned why she was defacing this helpful garment she cried:

“Gannets!” and spoke no more.

Further research into the subject has since revealed the source of her anxiety. Gannets are powerful seabirds with a wingspan of 1.8m and are famously greedy. In their headlong pursuit of small fish they hurtle into the water at tremendous speeds from the sky above, where they circle in search of prey.

According to the advice of a Scottish skipper known to the concerned club member, the birds sometimes mistake such reflective strips for fish, falling upon them with lethal force, killing both bird and diver.

A small committee of concerned members soon convened in the Azzuro bar to meet the new threat with resolve, pitiless logic, technical genius and drunken speculation. A mere five hours later the gannet question had been considered from all angles - during that time voices were loud in disagreement and many noble arguments were raised up only to be howled down by rival theorists.

Finally, a few inspired ideas remained; ideas that could not be gainsaid or battered down. These ideas, products of the finest minds in seabird attack prevention, would be the shield that Hellfins raised to halt the gannet's deadly plunge. Read on and look upon them in wonder.